My mind impaired [1]
Your bells declare
A love that teaches me
No room in the inn
Bring them here, let them in
Give our guests the rest they need
The arms of the church
are the haven reserved
For the weary the hand of God receives
But why has the stain glass shattered?
Golden hues turn to red
We’ll grant a place of refuge
But must we give our shelter to the dead? [2]
Gifted gold in a chest become brass bullets fired at my breast
The choir angels aghast
Wise men bearing gifts
Morph into gunmen with white-knuckles fists
Is this redemption for us?
For 40 days, we’ll fast [3]
While skies darken black [4]
Hell rains on us
And for a tenth of those [5]
I’ll watch my family hunger
To see my body consumed into the earth
I hear them scream
One to another
“We will turn this birthplace of ‘god’
Into a grave for my godless brother”
This silent night is drenched in gunfire
The birth of chaos, a soundtrack for my second christening [6]
I hear them scream
One to another
“We will turn this birthplace of ‘god’
Into a grave for my godless brother”
I ran, I fell
I heard the bell
Ringing softly one last time
The angels lift my soul rejoicing
Isaac, Ishmael, will you weep for me?
Caught in the crossfire
Between what is
And what should be
Two brothers
On either side of the Church
Collided violently into me
The marriage of fear and hate
The death of peace
The bell tolling for solace
Still sings for me
The star of Bethlehem climbed every rung to the sky [7]
The virgin births a stillborn
The sacrifice is found
[1] In 2002, the Israeli Defense force pushed back several dozens of Palestinian militants into the ancient Church of the Nativity (the alleged birthplace of Christ). The Palestinian militants were given sanctuary by the priests and monks there for roughly 40 days. Tragically, one of few casualties of the entire event was the mentally handicapped bell ringer of the church, who was shot and killed by an Israeli sniper by mistake.
“Bullet Quiets Church’s Bell,” Chicago Tribune, April 5th, 2020, https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-
2002-04-05-0204050331-story.html.
[2] The caved grotto underneath the church (called Cave of the Innocents, a memorial site containing the bones of the
children two years old and younger killed by King Herod in Bethlehem) was repurposed as a temporary resting
place for the bodies of the Palestinian fighters who were shot and killed.Joshua Hammer, A Season in Bethlehem: Unholy War in a Sacred Place, (New York: Free Press, 2003), 229,
Kindle edition.
[3] The Siege at the Church of the Nativity lasted roughly 40 days. “Bullet Quiets Church’s Bell,” Chicago Tribune, April 5th, 2020, https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-
2002-04-05-0204050331-story.html.
[4] Luke 23:44.
[5] According to one source, the bellringer's corpse was left in the streets to rot for four days before being permitted to be taken away and buried. Joshua Hammer, A Season in Bethlehem: Unholy War in a Sacred Place, (New York: Free Press, 2003), 215,
Kindle edition.
[6] Often times in the ancient church, martyrdom was consider a "second baptism" in one's own blood. See Mary Hope Griffin, Martyrdom as a Second Baptism: Issues and Expectations for the Early Christian Martyrs, 2002.
[7] “On Christmas Eve, the little one he would kill a few days later, was a star in the Christmas pageant. Maybe
Christos wanted to make her one forever. That seemed to be behind his thinking, because that was the reason he
gave the police: ‘God needed her, to put her in a star.’” Carol Delaney, Abraham on Trial, 41.
