Raise the knife to the heavens Let it fall where the child is bound Violence and vengeance revolving [1] Hesitancy disavowed [2] Quarantine the plague Dissipate the dissonance The great commission: To speak this final act of vengeance But which brother? I can’t decide One pompous and arrogant The other withered, bastardized [3] His raised image inverted He smiles at judgement diverted His brothers holocaust: [4] Holy infanticide [1] René Girard, Violence and the Sacred, translated by Patrick Gregory, (London: Continuum, 2005), 51. [2] Carol Delaney, Abraham on Trial: The Social Legacy of Biblical Myth (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2000), 44. [3] Genesis 21:15. [4] The word “holocaust” comes from the Greek words holos meaning “whole” and kaustos “to burn.” Online Etymology Dictionary, “holocaust,” https://www.etymonline.com/word/holocaust.

Recite, recite [1] The word eternal The pre-eminent discourse The dictum of the dead and the living Deliver the sacred promise— The birth pangs from God’s own tongue Your soul is a sea without a shore [2] Righteous slave, You’ve caught the eye of the Lord [3] Pulled straight from the right side of the mountain [4] They’ll remember your name [5] You will speak And I’ll silence [6] The bastards, the reprobates [7] The ones who shut their ears to this decree The raging oceans [8] The weeping orphan [9] Will be calmed by its sound Galvanize Dear messenger, Those who fell asleep Refine the corrupted decree Level the mountains Raise the valleys [10] A barren garden Births a miracle—a song of unmatched serenity Sprouted as a eulogy But reaped as a dirge Watch it pierce your soul [11] Your bride and daughter battle [12] Black is the ink that’s written But it dries red [13] The final answer To the question all have asked And yet a question asking: The response, can you withstand? You will speak And be speechless With awe and dread you’ll bear The word of God that everyone will hear The raging oceans The weeping orphan Will be calmed by its sound But not before that deafening wind, overshadowed, has tortured them [14] Majesty And terror Will be a palindrome Unspeakable its glory Unspoken its pain [1] Quran 96:1-3. [2] Jalālu’l-Dīn Rūmī, Selected Poems of Rumi, (Mineola, New Yok: Dover Publications: 2011) translated by Reynold A. Nicholson, Dover Thrift Edition, 1. [3] Luke 1:28. [4] Quran 19:52. [5] Luke 1:42. [6] Ibid., 1:20. [7] The Book of Enoch, Translated by R.H. Charles (London: Evinity Publishing, 2010) 10:9, Kindle Edition. [8] Mark 4:39. [9] Muhammad himself was an orphan, with his father dying before Muhammad’s birth, and his mother dying in his youth. Raza Aslan, No god but God: The Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam (Newark: Audible, 2009), chapter 1, 1:07:00. See also Quran 93:6. [10] Isaiah 40:4. [11] Luke 2:35. [12] This is meant to be taken metaphorically and literally. Metaphorically, it refers to the Bride of Christ—the Church—battling with an offshoot, or a child, of the Abrahamic tradition, namely, the Ulama (the community of Islamic believers). Yet, this is also a literal reference concerning Muhammad’s wife and daughter. Shortly after the prophet’s death, raging factions divided the community about who should be Muhammad’s successor, with Aisha (Muhammad’s wife) and Fatima (Muhammad’s daughter from his first marriage) finding themselves squarely on opposing sides of a bloody conflict over the matter. Hazleton, After the Prophet, chapters 9-10. [13] This is meant as both an acknowledgement of the Passion of Christ, as well as a particularly disturbing episode in early Islamic history. Amidst the initial rumblings of the Shia/Sunni split, the third Caliph, Uthman Ibn Affan, was assassinated by a mutinous Muslim. It is said that his blood spilt over the Quran he was in the middle of reading., Vali Nasr, The Shia Revival: How Conflicts within Islam Will Shape the Future (Newark: Audible, 2013), read by Fleet Cooper, chapter 2, 39:30. [14] Genesis 1:4. Also see Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid, “Who is the ‘Holy Spirit,’ Islam Question & Answer, April 23rd, 2001, https://islamqa.info/en/answers/14403/who-is-the-holy-spirit.

Ineffable Frozen in beauty Like a fly caught in amber [1] I’m transfixed Suspended between terror and bliss Barefoot in the cavern I’ve seen [2] The burning thicket Consumed and flickering radiate [3] Only the wisps of its shadows have been seen by the faithless But the Word in the beginning may be my— End These locutions I hear [4] The small still voice I can’t— Bare, I sweat underneath a cacophony The clanging of bells the suffocation an angel’s wings [5] Is this my ascent into sainthood? Or am I descending into madness? If I’m a lyre; my chords plucked by God’s own fingers [6] Then why does my voice sound strangely familiar? Where does humanity end and divinity begin? [7] So will you hold me through the night? As my faith is worn and terror starts to rise Only madmen hear the words of angels And this voice of God terrifies me It terrifies And my mind convulses with uncertainty Has there been a breach of autonomy? [8] Did my forefather—knife raised—have a lapse in his sanity? [9] Have the demons come in? Am I possessed by a jinn? [10] Is the devil himself lurking deep within? Could it be that the angels will catch me up with their hands? [11] Could it be I’m the swine for Christ to throw off the mountain? [12] Suicide may be my only hope I’ll kill this parasite Bashing in its wicked host Concuss the terrible master [13] I’ll mitigate this disaster The lineage of seers might end tonight Is the line between prophet and madman only paper-thin? So will you hold me through the night? as my faith is worn and terror starts to rise Only madmen hear the words of angels And this voice of God terrifies me Cover me I can’t bear the weight of the miracle [14] Lift my soul with your embrace [1] Mark Salzman, Lying Awake, (New York: Random House, 2003), 18, Kindle Edition. [2] Plato, The Allegory of the Cave, (Enhanced Media, 2017), translated by Benjamin Jowett. [3] Quran 20:10. [4] St. Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle, edited and translated by E. Allison Peers (New York: Sheed & Ward, 1946) 134, Kindle Edition. [5] The Hadith by Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volumes 1, book 1, Hadith #2, narrated by Aisha (Global Grey, 2017) https://www.globalgreyebooks.com/hadith-ebook.html. [6] Montanus, an early charismatic preacher in the 2nd century, became a spectacle when he not only claimed to be a prophet, but also spoke as God in the first person. “Behold the man [Montanus] is like a lyre, and I strike the strings like a plectrum. The man sleeps and I wake. Behold! It is the Lord who moves the heart of [the] man.” Quoted in Roger E. Olson, The Story of Christian Theology: 20 Centuries of Tradition & Reform, (Downers Grover, IL: InterVasity Press, 1999), 32, Kindle edition. [7] Lesley Hazleton, The First Muslim: the Story of Muhammad (Newark: Audbile, 2017) read by Deepti Gupta, chapter 8, 3:19:50. [8] T.M. Luhrmann, R. Padmavati, H. Tharoor, and A. Osei, “Differences in Voice-Hearing Experiences of People with Psychosis,” in The British Journal of Psychiatry, 2015, 43. [9] Carol Delaney, Abraham on Trial: The Social Legacy of Biblical Myth (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2000), 14. [10] Mejnoon is the Arabic word for “crazy,” and is still in use all throughout the Near East. The word’s etymology traces its root to the word “jinn.” A jinn in Islam is a spiritual entity separate from angels and demons. There are good jinn and evil jinn. The connotation of the word mejnoon then, is that those who are crazy are those who are possessed by a spirit. This knowledge is from Dr. Penney, Wheaton’s resident Semitic languages scholar. [11] Matthew 4:6. [12] Mark 5:10. [13] David Foster Wallace, Jamie Sullivan, “This is Water – Full version-David Foster Wallace Commencement Speech,” May 19th, 2013, video, 22:43, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI. [14] The Quran was said to be Muhammad’s sole miracle, given his illiteracy and the Quran’s incomprehensible beauty. Though some scholars question whether Muhammad was in fact illiterate, I include it here not for its doubtless historical accuracy, but because it is still widely believed among the Muslim community. See Aslan, No god but God, chapter 2, 1:53:00.

Terror is the ever-scorching sun In the fight for our existence Uprooted, Cast aside as kindling Scattered ‘cross the nations Sprouted forth From the crags Our seed A diaspora Replanted in the land we lost Nearly vacant, but trod upon by swine We’ll sink our roots deep in this earth A breast flowing rich with honey There’s no view from nowhere And from the heights of Zion I can see Thorns In my side Parasitic weeds You infectious disease We’ll be the salt of the earth Terror homegrown will wilt and see We’ve tilled this desert sand before Our claimed inheritance [1] Our eternal home There’s no view from nowhere And from the heights of Zion I can see The depths I’ll go to find refuge We’ve been pruned for greatness The nagging guilt you sow will be blotted out By the shade of our olive trees We’ll water this land with blood if it means we reap a future If only to see our children bloom I refuse to wither Never again trod on Never again uprooted Never again trod on Never again a victim [2] [1] Obadiah 17. [2] The phrase “never again” has become a rallying cry within the Zionist movement, signifying how the Jewish people will never again be left helpless to suffer without the right to fight back. See 4everSsstudent7, “Never Again – Israel, 60 Years After the Holocaust,” May 1st, 2008, video, 3:29, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtG7mJeFZrI&t=111s.

Am I the scorching sun above Or the child exposed? [1] Mimicking this wilting weed My lone shade in the desert Every drop of hope I had You drank your fill; excess spills down your beard [2] The pharaoh, once your oppressor Now your paragon [3] Screeching owls circles your gardens [4] Screaming “blood guilt” Mass graves fertilize olive trees [5] Our graves left unwatered [6] Criticize our modest blossom While you leach our tongue Tell us all of your exceeding greatness Through "small, death-spitting mouths" [7] Fingers rise to flick the locusts [8] That you resurrect Mother Hagar smiles and wipes her eyes God has seen us writhe in dust Our thirst will be sated Our keys, kept, will open the floodgates [7] [1] Genesis 21:15-20. [2] It is difficult to overstate how large of a role the fight over water plays in the tensions between the Palestinians and the Israelis. It is often the case that the Palestinians unjustly have their groundwater confiscated by the Israelis. Space does not permit a fuller discussion than this; for more details see Troubled Waters—Palestinians Denied Fair Access to Water: Israel Occupied Palestinian Territories, (London: Amnesty International Publications, 2009), https://www.amnestyusa.org/pdf/mde150272009en.pdf. [3] It is interesting to note that in the Quran, the pharaoh is the archetype of evil. “…the Koran’s most important villain.” Sachiko Murata and William C. Chittick, The Vision of Islam, (St. Paul, MN: Paragon House, 1994), 32, Kindle Edition. [4] Though there are only mere fragments of Arabic poetry available to us from the pre-Islamic era, one of the common motifs of that poetry was the idea of the thirsty owl. The mythology of the owl was that it would screech during the night, acting as an omen, signaling that a wrongful death has been committed, and that bloodguilt must be avenged. See T. Emil Homerlin, “Echoes of a Thirst Owl: Death and Afterlife in Pre-Islamic Arabic Poetry,” in Journal of Near Eastern Studies, Vol. 44, No. 3, July 1985. [5] Mass graves were a tragic reality in the Palestinian exile. Elias Chacour recounts of when he discovered one as a child, playing soccer in a field, only to find a welted, decomposing severed arm shooting up out of the ground. Chacour, Blood Brothers, chapter 5, 1:34:00. [6] Watering gravesites was a literal practice in pre-Islamic Arabia, the idea being that the ghosts of the departed were thirsty either literally, or on occasion, metaphorically for justice. See Homerlin, “Echoes of a Thirsty Owl,” 183. [7] Elias Chacour, Blood Brothers, chapter 6. [8] In an uproar against the Israeli occupation, the Palestinians engaged in two widespread revolts against the Israelis, known as the first and second Intifada (1987 & 2000). The term "Intifada" is an Arabic word roughly translating to "the shaking off," with the connotation being that of flicking off a bug. [9] During my time in Palestine, I met with several Palestinian families who kept as heirlooms the keys to the homes they were driven out of. To this day can be seen all throughout the West Bank imagery of the key, symbolizing the hope to one day return to their homes.

Oh Bethlehem, My hope, my home Ring softly for me My mind impaired [1] Your bells declare A love that teaches me No room in the inn Bring them here, let them in Give our guests the rest they need The arms of the church are the haven reserved For the weary the hand of God receives But why has the stain glass shattered? Golden hues turn to red We’ll grant a place of refuge But must we give our shelter to the dead? [2] Gifted gold in a chest become brass bullets fired at my breast The choir angels aghast Wise men bearing gifts Morph into gunmen with white-knuckles fists Is this redemption for us? For 40 days, we’ll fast [3] While skies darken black [4] Hell rains on us And for a tenth of those [5] I’ll watch my family hunger To see my body consumed into the earth I hear them scream One to another “We will turn this birthplace of ‘god’ Into a grave for my godless brother” This silent night is drenched in gunfire The birth of chaos, a soundtrack for my second christening [6] I hear them scream One to another “We will turn this birthplace of ‘god’ Into a grave for my godless brother” I ran, I fell I heard the bell Ringing softly one last time The angels lift my soul rejoicing Isaac, Ishmael, will you weep for me? Caught in the crossfire Between what is And what should be Two brothers On either side of the Church Collided violently into me The marriage of fear and hate The death of peace The bell tolling for solace Still sings for me The star of Bethlehem climbed every rung to the sky [7] The virgin births a stillborn The sacrifice is found [1] In 2002, the Israeli Defense force pushed back several dozens of Palestinian militants into the ancient Church of the Nativity (the alleged birthplace of Christ). The Palestinian militants were given sanctuary by the priests and monks there for roughly 40 days. Tragically, one of few casualties of the entire event was the mentally handicapped bell ringer of the church, who was shot and killed by an Israeli sniper by mistake. “Bullet Quiets Church’s Bell,” Chicago Tribune, April 5th, 2020, https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm- 2002-04-05-0204050331-story.html. [2] The caved grotto underneath the church (called Cave of the Innocents, a memorial site containing the bones of the children two years old and younger killed by King Herod in Bethlehem) was repurposed as a temporary resting place for the bodies of the Palestinian fighters who were shot and killed.Joshua Hammer, A Season in Bethlehem: Unholy War in a Sacred Place, (New York: Free Press, 2003), 229, Kindle edition. [3] The Siege at the Church of the Nativity lasted roughly 40 days. “Bullet Quiets Church’s Bell,” Chicago Tribune, April 5th, 2020, https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm- 2002-04-05-0204050331-story.html. [4] Luke 23:44. [5] According to one source, the bellringer's corpse was left in the streets to rot for four days before being permitted to be taken away and buried. Joshua Hammer, A Season in Bethlehem: Unholy War in a Sacred Place, (New York: Free Press, 2003), 215, Kindle edition. [6] Often times in the ancient church, martyrdom was consider a "second baptism" in one's own blood. See Mary Hope Griffin, Martyrdom as a Second Baptism: Issues and Expectations for the Early Christian Martyrs, 2002. [7] “On Christmas Eve, the little one he would kill a few days later, was a star in the Christmas pageant. Maybe Christos wanted to make her one forever. That seemed to be behind his thinking, because that was the reason he gave the police: ‘God needed her, to put her in a star.’” Carol Delaney, Abraham on Trial, 41.

Wahad [1] [1] The Arabic word for "one."

This vision lies before me The urge to murder the soul This foreign entity A stranger inescapable A face so unfamiliar Yet shown in every wayward smile Behold the lord of the flies: The impulse swarming in my chest Undulate inconsistently Wavering sporadically to no resolve The fate laid out before me slipping away ephemeral, tentative I am not the author of my wayward dreams Save mercy for the guilty Ever-present help in my time of need The Accuser will acquit me I hurl my curses to you Yet find them damning me The mirror image that taunts me The scathing spite that I know Cancerous contaminant Ravaging my righteous soul Despite antipathy, I see now my dependence Though I invite your overthrow I don't beckon your severance Your audience gives me comfort That my will has been undermined If my charity has been usurped Then damn forgiveness; I'm justified I am not the author of my wayward dreams Save mercy for the guilty I’ll call upon the universal scapegoat Ever-present help in my time of need The Accuser, will acquit me I’ll wear my shame underneath a lambskin You are the embodiment of all my avarice Archetype of my resentment You are malevolence in me “Incarnation is a myth” [1] [1] Youssef Ziedan, Azazeel (London: Atlantic Books, 2009) translated by Jonathan Wright, 302.

The sun sets; peace glistens as a memory Bludgeoned and victimized, I’ve come to devise The dawn of an era of bloodshed The undead find themselves infected by a plague Eye for an eye Reciprocate, agonize Half-blind, myopic I’ll terrorize The one that I think is the monster: The guiltiest of all I dream of drinking vengeance Draining their blood guilt dry Drown me, catharsis But I wake to find my seething Poured onto innocence Drowning in rage But the blows that I dealt Disfigure another face The blade that I crafted To repay my suffering Now plunged into a surrogate The blood poured out Encircles the victim With a crimson halo Rage fostered by devils But poured out on a saint Give me immunity, wipe away this plague Ululate Sacrifice, fill me with meekness as the blade sinks deeper

Amidst brothers at war The sound of a cease fire captivates Remove the tunicate Let red run slow Restraints unshackled The taste of blood will be known The insatiable vice Eye for eye Can’t be denied Violence beckons a body To sink its teeth into Past the trembling hands A surrogate comes Gather the kindling The dead for the living Bound alive, my hatred on display The innocent beast Becomes the ravenous feast At the banquet of vitriol and revenge And as we swallow, The bitterness follows The taste for blood finally subsides Stricken by horror as I strike the offering Rise up, take the knife from the father Hand in hand, together we’ll slaughter it The thicket becomes an ellipse This ravenous anger, wholly eclipsed Fratricide drains from its body Not a drop remains of animosity Sink your teeth into the ram in the thicket And behold your brother’s smile