Ineffable
Frozen in beauty
Like a fly caught in amber [1]
I’m transfixed
Suspended between terror and bliss

Barefoot in the cavern I’ve seen [2]
The burning thicket
Consumed and flickering radiate [3]
Only the wisps of its shadows have been seen by the faithless

But the Word in the beginning
may be my—

End
These locutions I hear [4]
The small still voice I can’t—

Bare, I sweat underneath a cacophony
The clanging of bells
the suffocation an angel’s wings [5]

Is this my ascent into sainthood?
Or am I descending into madness?

If I’m a lyre; my chords plucked by God’s own fingers [6]
Then why does my voice sound strangely familiar?

Where does humanity end and divinity begin? [7]

So will you hold me through the night?
As my faith is worn and terror starts to rise
Only madmen hear the words of angels
And this voice of God terrifies me

It terrifies
And my mind convulses with uncertainty
Has there been a breach of autonomy? [8]
Did my forefather—knife raised—have a lapse in his sanity? [9]

Have the demons come in?
Am I possessed by a jinn? [10]
Is the devil himself lurking deep within?

Could it be that the angels will catch me up with their hands? [11]
Could it be I’m the swine for Christ to throw off the mountain? [12]

Suicide may be my only hope
I’ll kill this parasite
Bashing in its wicked host

Concuss the terrible master [13]
I’ll mitigate this disaster
The lineage of seers might end tonight

Is the line between prophet and madman only paper-thin?

So will you hold me through the night?
as my faith is worn
and terror starts to rise
Only madmen hear the words of angels
And this voice of God terrifies me

Cover me
I can’t bear the weight of the miracle [14]
Lift my soul with your embrace

[1] Mark Salzman, Lying Awake, (New York: Random House, 2003), 18, Kindle Edition.
[2] Plato, The Allegory of the Cave, (Enhanced Media, 2017), translated by Benjamin Jowett.
[3] Quran 20:10.
[4] St. Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle, edited and translated by E. Allison Peers (New York: Sheed & Ward,
1946) 134, Kindle Edition.
[5] The Hadith by Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volumes 1, book 1, Hadith #2, narrated by Aisha (Global Grey, 2017)
https://www.globalgreyebooks.com/hadith-ebook.html.
[6] Montanus, an early charismatic preacher in the 2nd century, became a spectacle when he not only claimed to be a
prophet, but also spoke as God in the first person. “Behold the man [Montanus] is like a lyre, and I strike the strings
like a plectrum. The man sleeps and I wake. Behold! It is the Lord who moves the heart
of [the] man.” Quoted in Roger E. Olson, The Story of Christian Theology: 20 Centuries of Tradition & Reform,
(Downers Grover, IL: InterVasity Press, 1999), 32, Kindle edition.
[7] Lesley Hazleton, The First Muslim: the Story of Muhammad (Newark: Audbile, 2017) read by Deepti Gupta, chapter 8, 3:19:50.
[8] T.M. Luhrmann, R. Padmavati, H. Tharoor, and A. Osei, “Differences in Voice-Hearing Experiences of People with Psychosis,” in The British Journal of Psychiatry, 2015, 43.
[9] Carol Delaney, Abraham on Trial: The Social Legacy of Biblical Myth (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2000), 14.
[10] Mejnoon is the Arabic word for “crazy,” and is still in use all throughout the Near East. The word’s etymology
traces its root to the word “jinn.” A jinn in Islam is a spiritual entity separate from angels and demons. There are
good jinn and evil jinn. The connotation of the word mejnoon then, is that those who are crazy are those who are
possessed by a spirit. This knowledge is from Dr. Penney, Wheaton’s resident Semitic languages scholar.
[11] Matthew 4:6.
[12] Mark 5:10.
[13] David Foster Wallace, Jamie Sullivan, “This is Water – Full version-David Foster Wallace Commencement
Speech,” May 19th, 2013, video, 22:43, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI.
[14] The Quran was said to be Muhammad’s sole miracle, given his illiteracy and the Quran’s incomprehensible
beauty. Though some scholars question whether Muhammad was in fact illiterate, I include it here not for its
doubtless historical accuracy, but because it is still widely believed among the Muslim community. See Aslan, No
god but God, chapter 2, 1:53:00.